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Born in 1957, Ian McMillan first
made his name through his work with the Poetry Circus in the
early 1980's. Since then he has become famous for his work in
schools, radio (presenter of Booked and panelist on many
other Radio 4 shows, the Mark Radcliffe Show and Poetry
Please), as Poet in Residence for Barnsley F.C., and in poetry
venues across the nation.
Ian's association with The Shed goes back many years, having collaborated with The Shed's own Simon Thackray on numerous 'projects' for TV and radio and live events. The Yorkshire Pudding Boat Race® is one of many such happenings...
 The
Shed's Autumn Programme 2007 |
The Yorkshire Pudding Boat Songs
by Ian McMillan
Part 2 (Read Part 1 First!)
Now a year has flown
since the last Yorkshire Pudding Boat Race,
flown like batter flies
across the kitchen
when you mix it too vigorously
and it sticks to the kitchen wall
like a cloud
a batter cloud...
Now a year has sailed by
since the last Yorkshire Pudding Boat Race,
sailed by like the lumps of flour
sometimes sail
in the batter, just before you've mixed it properly,
and they crumble like boats,
crumbling boats...
Now a year has poured away
since the last Yorkshire Pudding Boat Race
poured away like gravy,
Yorkshire Pudding gravy,
pouring into the wide open mouths
of the Yorkshire puddings,
waiting there to be fed gravy
like young birds in the nest...
And some people think this is
the second race
and the first one was last year's race
but now we know better
now we've searched archives and we know,
we know...
We Found
Dr. Bartholomew Young's True Account
Of The Great Yorkshire Pudding Boat Adventure
of 1864.
And here it is,
here for you now,
Dr. Bartholomew Young's True Account
Of The Great Yorkshire Pudding Boat Adventure
of 1864...
It rained for days, gentle reader,
it had rained for days and days
and the soaking wet people of
Brawby
wandered round in a soggy haze
and the rain poured from the
sky like God was pouring milk
and the sky was the darkest, darkest grey
and the puddles were deeper than John, the legendary tall man
of Brawby
and he was tall,
he was tall,
but in this rain he stood in puddles up to his neck
and the people cried 'Look at John, the legendary Tall man of
Brawby,
or Rather: look at his head!'
And the rain filled up the river
like you might fill a book
with stories of rain,
words about rain
pictures of rain
songs about rain
And the rain hammered on the roofs of the houses of the people
of Brawby
and it sounded like Theodore, the BrawbyBigfoot,
who sometimes walked on roofs
with his big feet
that sounded like heavy, heavy rain...
It had rained for days, gentle
reader,
it had rained for days and days
and the soaking wet people of Brawby
wandered round in a soggy haze...
And as the rain poured down
from a sky the colour of sky
but not sky blue,
the oldest man in Brawby
the man simply known as Shod
because he used to be a blacksmith
did what he always did,
even though he was 102 years old,
every day
at about this time,
come rain, or sun, or fog or hail,
he mixed his Yorkshire Puddings,
without fail,
and as the rain came down he
mixed
the batter, added the eggs to the flour
and a little milk
and his batter was magic,
his batter was silk
and people came from as far as
York
to see the magic action of his batter fork
It had rained for day, gentle
reader,
it had rained for days and days
and the soaking wet people of Brawby
wandered round in a soggy haze...
Half a mile way, on the River
Rye
the rain was pouring,
the water was high
to the rising river
from the soaking sky
nowhere in Brawby was dry,
no,
Nowhere in Brawby was dry.
And by the River bank little Alice
was playing with her toy boats,
and the rain soaked through her bonnet
and the rain soaked through her coat...
Little Alice...ah, little Alice
played with boats since she was tiny
she didn't want dolls
she didn't dress up
just as long as her deck was shiny
and nothing could keep her from
the River Rye
even a day like this
when the water rose
and nothing in Brawby was dry,
no:
nothing in Brawby was dry!
She made a
small model
of the tallest ship,
placed it carefully in the water,
and as her father shouted
from his riverside house
'Be careful, be careful
my daughter...
It had rained for days,
gentle reader,
it had rained for days and days
and the soaking wet people of
Brawby
wandered round in a soggy haze,
and the river rose
and the River Rye
reflected in Alice's gentle eye,
and suddenly the river
burst its banks
and grabbed gentle Alice
by her Gentle shanks
and suddenly the Rye
burst into flood
and grabbed gentle Alice
where it did no good!
and the river carried Alice
like she was a fish
and the river carried Alice
like she was a twig
and the river carried Alice
like she was a bubble
and Alice was in deep deep swirling
trouble
Continued....
© Ian McMillan 2000
The Yorkshire Pudding Boat Race
Suspense... short stories by Ian McMillan
The Shed Poems by Ian McMillan
Independent On Sunday - Yorkshire Pudding Boat Race
The Shed's Special Projects
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| The Fish & Chip Van Tour - on the Richard and Judy Show |
| The Yorkshire Pudding Boat Race - Big Breakfast to Sky News |
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| Mrs Boyes' Bingo - featuring Mark Sanders |
| The Shed Comes To Town - and Malton comes to life! |
| Hat - the original knitting performance |
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2007.
Yorkshire Pudding Boat™ is a trademark © Simon Thackray.
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